| For those of you who didn't know, I'm moving away. FAR away. It's likely that we'll never see eachother again. EVER. On that cheery note, let's get to the details of the hell that has been my week. It is surprising how much crap a family can accumulate over the course of a decade, let alone store in a tiny 3 bedroom townhouse. It took us a fortnight to slowly begin the process of phasing out of our old home and into the basement we're currently renting, starting with the non-essentials such as detergent, soap, handcream and spoons. Believe me, spoons aren't so 'non-essential' anymore when you've poured yourself a big bowl of cereal and end up having to eat it with a ladle. After we've stripped our house of all the light, inconsequential items, the daunting task of moving the heavy stuff began. We started on a beautiful Sunday morning, and had a light breakfast at Tim Horton's. The sun was shining, and the sky was as a beautiful china blue. 'It's just a few couches and beds', I thought to myself as I sipped my double/double steeped tea. How bad can it possibly be? We rented a van for the day, because let's face it, we can't fit the comforts of home inside a CR-V. We also rented a doily for 10 bucks, but more on that later. Our first load was the bookshelves. Like the suckers we were, we wanted to use the doily, because technology makes life easier! As it turns out, the task of lifting the doily up the stairs to where the bookshelves proved a difficult task, attaching the bookshelf to the doily even harder, and getting it down the stairs? I don't want to talk about it. In the end, we just lifted the bookshelves ourselves and carried it to the van. They were that light. Needless to say, the doily didn't see much action that day on account that it was heavier than most of the stuff we needed it to carry. Second load was the hardest load, and that was the beds. I've found two factors which account for the difficulty of an object's movability: weight and squishiness. The heavier it is, the more difficult it is to move. The squisher it is, the harder it is to get a good balance. We have two beds, and they were among the heaviest and squishiest objects we had to move that day. I swear, that posturepedic bed did more damage to me than it could possibly fix. Third load was, dare I say it, fun? Hard to do, but fun. It was the two work desks that I had, and I said it was fun because in a way, it was like Tetris. Getting it down the stairs required a lot of maneuvering, shifting the legs into closets to leverage more space, rotating it in order to fit through doorways, and arranging it inside the van to maximize volume. My mom called me 'smart' when I managed to fit the two tables inside the van in an awkward '69' position. It was both erotic and utilitarian. Fourth was the couches. Not much there to say except that it was pretty damn easy. I pwned those couches like they were my bitch. I am the couch pimp. Last was my big T.V., and my two marble tables. We covered up the T.V. so it wouldn't scratch, and my mum sat in the back of the van in order to keep it from tilting. I have to say, those two marble tables were MURDEROUS. Each weighed a ton, and the combined might of my dad and myself barely managed to lift them into the van. We broke out the doily for the larger slab and turned a difficult task into a nigh impossible one. As it turns out, while my dad and I could lift the larger marble slab, with the doily attached, it was simply undoable. It was too heavy. Operating it was as difficult as hell. But were we going to let the 10 bucks go to waste? Never! We insisted on using the doily, and after straining both our backs, we got it in the van, doily and all. The last load was for the T.V. stand and other nicknaks. Nothing happened there. All in all, we officially started moving at roughtly 9:30, and finished around 21:30, a grueling 12 hours of lifting, sweating, and lots and lots of pain. Just a note, if any of you ever ask me to help you move, I'd do it, but I'll be bitching every step of the way. Make sure that my help is worth it. I have no internet connection right now ( Public computers suck ass), and no phone either. If you want to reach me, call my cell. Hopefully we can get togther and watch Spidey 3 or Pirates or something. |
